Conscious Breathing has helped me come home to myself
A brain constantly revved up. Do you recognize yourself?
Breathing properly is not always easy. Where to start? What is breathing? Why did I join this course? What is the point of it all? Why should you learn to breathe? Do you not just, like breathe, as usual, always? What is so special about a breathing course? Breathing is easy, I suppose. Especially for a yoga teacher. Many different questions and thoughts are spinning in my head, almost all the time:
- If I practice and teach yoga, should I not be calm all the time?
- If I walk around being sad, why does this happen?
- Why do I think so much all the time?
In October 2019, I took a one-day course in breathing. Among other things, we got a little green thing (a Relaxator) that you put in your mouth to learn to breathe lower down in your stomach. After the course, I brought out the little green thing and started breathing through it a bit now and then. All of a sudden, I started to feel tired and yawn, and I got a whole lot of saliva in my mouth!
I thought something must be wrong and "my God, it was so hard! I cannot continue doing this". But what I also noticed was that I got a wonderful cold feeling in my nose, mouth and throat. I felt lighter and had no pain in my shoulders, and after a few hours of using the Relaxator my vision became even sharper! I thought: My God, what’s happening?! What is this? Can breathing have such a profound effect on the body?! I wanted to learn more about what happens when you breathe right and learn more about how to teach this!
It was at the end of 2019 and I had decided to just take it easy the next year, not travel anywhere and not take any other courses, because I was now an independent yoga teacher, and the last two months had not been that profitable. I did not know what to do: whether I should go back to the 9-5 job or if I should give my small business—my dream—one last chance! A week into 2020, however, I decided to register for the Conscious Breathing Instructor Course. It was the best decision I could have made!
The feeling of coming home, home to oneself
I just knew that this course was something I needed. When we started, I did not know I was feeling that bad. I knew something was missing, but I did not know what it was that I wanted or what needed to be changed. The only thing I knew was what power and what effect this little green breathing device (the Relaxator) have. Being able to start something in your own home that is similar to a self-help course without feeling pressure, that was extremely important, being able to take the lessons at my own pace.
The breathwork was pretty tough at first, mainly because of the large amount of saliva that came out. But it was extremely rewarding as I experienced a completely different existence in my everyday life! I felt happier, more relaxed and lighter in both body and mind. My inner stress started to melt, and lots of tears were pouring.
I could sit and watch a movie, or read a book or something else trivial in my everyday life, like washing dishes, and all of a sudden, my tear ducts opened and tears just continued pouring. It is amazing how much we hold within ourselves that we do not really dare to touch and open up about. Sometimes, it may be that you do not dare because you do not know where to start or how to start.
To cry, that is a release from it all
Crying is something you do not usually talk about. Nor can you just start crying when you like in the middle of a dinner, among friends, at work or on the bus. It is something you usually do at home, in your little room. But just crying without trying to wipe away the tears, even when you are home alone, that is also difficult. Trying to stop the process that you have started, just because you yourself may feel uncomfortable crying, just like that, from nowhere. To cry, that is a release from it all.
One’s system is cleansed, and one’s body has the opportunity to release all that has been withheld for so long. To let the tears flow endlessly until the body feels that what need to be cleansed has been cleansed. It is like coming home from a long journey and getting a hug. It is like coming home to oneself, into oneself. Sometimes, I wonder: Where do all these tears come from? I wonder when they will end?
The most worrying thing at first was that I did not know why I was crying. Questions came up, like, “Am I really that sensitive? I was, after all, not sad when I woke up.” A lot of it was things that I had gone around carrying, things that I had buried so deep inside myself that I did not even know how certain memories or feelings surfaced. That is largely because I have always been told to be strong, not show emotions, just get over it and so on.
When you hear that if you show emotions you are weak, you bury a lot in your subconscious, and it just sits there waiting to be released. I have not been in therapy, but I think that the Relaxator definitely is a product that everyone should have in their home! Something you can use in different kinds of situations and maybe even not have to spend money on therapy.
After many emotional days and episodes, the body is tired from all that is being released. What helps is a good night’s sleep, and you really get that with the help of sleep tape. It really is a miracle! I have never before slept so well as I do with sleep tape! With your brain revved up, it is difficult to relax, which affects your sleep. But with sleep tape, I always sleep so very well and wake up rested! The best part is that you can tape your partner’s mouth so he or she does not snore, and then you sleep even better! :)
Live the dream or go back?
For a while, I did not know what work I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to get away from the monotony and do something for myself. Live some of my dreams while I am young. That made me start working independently in 2019. After only a year and a few months, the corona crisis hit. Since March this year, I have been at home. I got sick with a common cold, which made me have to rest for two weeks at home. After two weeks of coughing and prolonged cold, I went to the hospital to take tests as well as a lung scan. They said everything was okay, that it was just a common cold. March 12, a week later, Denmark was closed down. March 16, I got asthma medicine. I could not breathe, and I had lost my voice! Then, I panicked! If I had been sick for so long while having lost my voice, how would I ever be able to teach again? Many different thoughts and scenarios went through my head.
Several weeks passed, and I slowly began to get better while the whole world began to shut down and everyone was at home. Because of the changes, I lost my job; I have not worked since March. This means that I have not had any income for over two months. Because I did not choose to shut down my business, I do not have the opportunity to apply for help from the state in the form of direct unemployment benefits. The idea of shutting down my business has not crossed my mind, as I have been working for four years to build what I have today. After a couple of visits to the municipality, I just kept walking. I did not know what to do but just keep going, one step at a time. I began to breathe through my mouth and slightly hyperventilate. Then came the tears. In the middle of the street, among people, came the tears! I kept on walking and said to myself, “It is okay. One breath at a time, one step at a time, then you are home.”
Breaking down in the middle of the street was not an option. Then, I began to breathe deeply through my nose and out through my mouth. It helped. Stopping and taking a breath helped. Feeling the scent of trees and flowers in the park helped. Thirty minutes later, I came home, put the Relaxator in my mouth and started doing breathwork.
Everything in life has meaning, and I hope this text has been able to help you realize that sometimes, even if you think you know a lot and have an incredibly large amount of knowledge stored, there is always something new to learn if you are willing to listen and adapt.
MANY THANKS, Anders!
I am extremely grateful to Anders for having created such a great opportunity to learn at your own pace. To be able to improve on one’s own terms. To be able to create a new reality for oneself.
- When you get angry, it is easy to overreact.
- When you get afraid, it is easy to overreact.
- When panic spreads in society, it is easy to overreact.
But there is a way out of the internal panic, the internal stress, and that is through breatwork. So far, I have coached two clients that I have seen incredibly big changes with, such as better energy levels, less fear and worry, improved thyroid activity, better sleep and less snoring. Teaching from your own experiences and being able to learn from others are two of the best ways to create a better future for ourselves and others.
As a yoga teacher, I have always focused on talking about the importance of good breathing. However, I myself was quite surprised by the incredible transformational period that I have gone through the last four months thanks to the breathing retraining! It is absolutely incredible, and I did not think it was possible! This is just a small part of a great journey that I have started. It seems like I have only scratched the surface. Everyone’s journey is individual, but what is most important is that you feel ready to start it, and explore yourself, and meet yourself right where you are.
I am extremely happy that you wanted to read along, and I hope you have a chance to start your journey with Conscious Breathing soon, either with me or the others in the Conscious Breathing team!